Keeping on target is hard...

It seems lately we have been having a hard time keeping the 3 yr old on his diet. There are temptations everywhere. How do we deny him things that the people around him are eating without making him feel bad about being "different"? There was, of course, a nice birthday cake at the last birthday celebration. There were cupcakes that were very tasty, but my husband didn't make the frosting for them. So, Jack wanted the cake with the frosting with the food coloring. Ugh. We let him have it, and he's been a beast for the last day and a half, ending with a full blown "masto meltdown" tonight before bed. Screaming (I hate you!!!!), crying, hitting, throwing things....cake wasn't worth this. It always seems to be something as far as food. The other thing I'm trying to avoid is chemical cleaners...seems to trigger a reaction. Double ugh. So, I'm currently investigating plant based cleaners.
The baby has an allergy appointment this week. He's been having a mysterious rash when playing outside. My allergist (who I see at work) thinks he may be having a "cholinergic" type reaction to the warm weather when he gets hot and sweaty. The Zyrtec works on it, which would support his theory, so we'll see...I hope that his food allergies are becoming better...we've really been able to keep his diet clean. I'm really counting on the fact that he'll probably outgrow them.
My daughter, the oldest, has been really helpful lately. She's great with the older kids, and watches them when I ask her. My fear is that I don't spend enought one-on-one with her. So that is something I'm trying to focus on with her.
My almost 10year old seems to get lost. He needs me so much. He really gets upset when he doesn't see me so I have to remind myself that he needs me just as much as the little boys. He's such a great kid. He plays with the younger ones and truly enjoys it...and lets them in when his friends are over.
I hope when I'm old I won't feel like I wasn't the best mom I could be. I really try hard with my kids, but it never feels like enough. No wonder people stop at one or two!!!