Fundraising!

I decided to have a fundraiser/birthday party for my almost 4 year old with masto. My decision came at a good time...right at the time I found out he has the gene mutation that could mean he'll have masto forever. It seemed the right thing to do. I have to DO something, so I'm going to try to raise some money for Mastokids.

I don't know how I thought I could do it all...four kids and a full time job plus overtime whenever I can get it. Am I crazy??? Yes, I suppose I am. Anyway, we are full out planning the party, and people have been wonderful. We have bouncer donated. We are getting some food donated. Kohl's is sending volunteers, and the 501st Legion is sending Darth Vader and hopefully some stormtroopers. We are really excited about that!!! They are soooo cool. If you've never seen them, it's like Star Wars just walked off the set and into your party. My kids and my husband are so excited.

I guess I've been entertaining the idea of having a fundraiser since last December....but like all things in my life, I only do something when I absolutely have to. I wish I was more of a planner, but I'm just not. I didn't really start planning until the Star Wars guys actually committed to coming. So now I'm in panic mode trying to get it all done. My poor husband...I have him loaded up with projects for outside...since the party is here, all the projects that we've been needing to do for the last, oh, four years, are getting done in the next three weeks!!

As far as Jack is concerned, he's been doing really great. The diet (dye/preservative free) is really working great. I have mangaged to keep from "cheating". He has been relatively happy, but I'm wondering about these popsicles he's been eating the last two days...kind of cranky. They are supposed to be "naturally" colored with tumeric and annato (?sp) but I'm not sure if he should be eating them. Hmmm....I'll have to ask my peeps.

The baby has had a bad day...I let him eat a couple of natural Cheetos. Oy. What in the world was I thinking. I swear...two skin tests say he's not allergic to milk, but his gut says he is. That's enough of that. His skin is all broken out. I feel like such a bad momma sometimes, but when he's pitching a fit because he wants to eat what the other kids are eating, I feel like one or two won't hurt him. Problem is, it does.

The older kids are happy today. I bought my oldest some new things at a store she loves. I feel good about that. So often my attention is on the younger kids, I feel like she is pushed aside. I do try to make an effort to spend time alone with each of them, but it's so hard. There's not enough time in the day. I hope they don't grow up and end up in therapy because I neglected them. My oldest son got to spend his gift card at the resale video game store. That was great. He spent sooooo long sorting through them all....I did my best to keep the younger ones occupied. I didn't want him to have to rush. There's something great about being able to go in a store and buy anything in there!!!! He ended up getting two games which were 50% off, and has a good amount left on the card. He is soooo like me...he loves a bargain and doesn't spend all his money in one shot. That is something I love about him.

Life is so busy...I really hope when I grow old I will remember this time with my children. I hope I don't forget how wonderful they really are. Time goes so fast.

Kristy

Birthdays are so Nostalgic!!

One of the busiest things about having four kids....is they each have their own birthday. My oldest son turned 10 today...I find myself thinking back...10 years ago at this time I was doing this, 10 years ago at this time I was doing this....10years ago I was getting my epidural...and so on. It makes me think of how much has changed in my life.

I am planning my almost 4 year olds birthday party for next month..Aug 22 is his party date. We are trying to plan a huge fundraiser birthday party for him. I am trying to raise money for mastokids, an organization which is dear to my heart. My 4 year old has masto, and may have systemic masto, although I am hoping for the best that he does not. I again, am amazed at how much my life has changed since giving birth to this wonderful child. He has made all of us see life in a different way. We appreciate more. We eat healthier. We plan more carefully. We are blessed to have him. Although, given the chance, I would choose for him to not have masto, it has shown us how lucky we are compared to some. He is alive, growing, learning and thriving every day.

The busy-ness of life sometimes gets in the way of remembering to appreciate things more fully. I think for me, birthdays make me slow down...reflect...appreciate. I'm glad I have four kids...and this is one more reason why...

Have a great day.

What is going on here??

I am sitting here typing this while my four very healthy children are safe and sound in their beds. I know Jack has masto, but I don't care...there are so many terrible things it could be.

I work in a Pediatric Intensive Care Unit. I see terrible, awful things. It has been an especially bad few weeks. A beautiful 7 year old just lost her battle with cancer on the 10th, a boy my kids go to school with lost his battle today. A five year old lays dying right as I type this from a brain tumor and a 20 yr old lays unresponsive in hospice care...it's only a matter of days. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. I want to scream. How can so many children lose their lives far too early...they have so much living to do. It's just not fair. I know that many, many people...moms, dads, friends, brothers, sisters, etc...have asked the same questions I ask before, and there will never be an answer. I still wonder though.

I think for me, I look for the good to come out. There has to be some good that comes from all these terrible, senseless deaths. Even something as small as me realizing that even though my 3 year old has masto, he will grow, it can be managed, I will appreciate him all the more. Even amidst the crazy that my life has become, it's a great crazy.

I am very spiritual. I believe these children will be "around". They will give subtle signs of their well being, even after physical death. I find this thought to be comforting--to know that these children will continue to be part of their families, even if they only "check in" from time to time. Watch John Edward on "WE" tv if you don't know what I'm saying.

I pray that these families will find some peace eventually. I don't think they'll ever accept the deaths of these children, but they will learn to live with it. They will go on because they have other children and they have to. Life does go on, even if it doesn't seem like it should.

Please join me in praying for all families with children sick with cancer.

Good night.

Keeping on target is hard...

It seems lately we have been having a hard time keeping the 3 yr old on his diet. There are temptations everywhere. How do we deny him things that the people around him are eating without making him feel bad about being "different"? There was, of course, a nice birthday cake at the last birthday celebration. There were cupcakes that were very tasty, but my husband didn't make the frosting for them. So, Jack wanted the cake with the frosting with the food coloring. Ugh. We let him have it, and he's been a beast for the last day and a half, ending with a full blown "masto meltdown" tonight before bed. Screaming (I hate you!!!!), crying, hitting, throwing things....cake wasn't worth this. It always seems to be something as far as food. The other thing I'm trying to avoid is chemical cleaners...seems to trigger a reaction. Double ugh. So, I'm currently investigating plant based cleaners.
The baby has an allergy appointment this week. He's been having a mysterious rash when playing outside. My allergist (who I see at work) thinks he may be having a "cholinergic" type reaction to the warm weather when he gets hot and sweaty. The Zyrtec works on it, which would support his theory, so we'll see...I hope that his food allergies are becoming better...we've really been able to keep his diet clean. I'm really counting on the fact that he'll probably outgrow them.
My daughter, the oldest, has been really helpful lately. She's great with the older kids, and watches them when I ask her. My fear is that I don't spend enought one-on-one with her. So that is something I'm trying to focus on with her.
My almost 10year old seems to get lost. He needs me so much. He really gets upset when he doesn't see me so I have to remind myself that he needs me just as much as the little boys. He's such a great kid. He plays with the younger ones and truly enjoys it...and lets them in when his friends are over.
I hope when I'm old I won't feel like I wasn't the best mom I could be. I really try hard with my kids, but it never feels like enough. No wonder people stop at one or two!!!